You have lost me, oh my father

You have lost me, my son Abdullah. You have lost me, my father!! Happiness fluttering around me... everything I see is beautiful... although our financial situation was average, in fact many things I lacked, and I could not obtain them, but contentment dispels all broad hopes and wide wishes, I was content with everything I had... and I thank Allah for His great blessings... and enough happiness and bliss that a person lives under the guardianship of parents, and what a blessing it is... parents who pour out their abundance of mercy and kindness upon him... and a person’s happiness and comfort increase if he adheres to the Shariah of Allah, lives in goodness, and enjoys faith, it is the good life... this is how I was, by Allah’s grace and His favor... but my father did not like this life; I could sense from him constant depression... and continuous sadness... and long thinking... he always complained about our life... he wished to be among the prominent businessmen... he wanted to be like Khalan, the owner of the company... or like Alan, the head of the institution, and despite my mother’s conviction, we advised and guided him often. She would often repeat, “O Abu Fulan, we are in blessing and goodness, praise be to Allah, enough for us is covering and health,” but he would get annoyed at her words... she would remind him of the saying of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him: “The most I fear for you is that the world will be spread out for you and you will compete for it as you compete for it, so it will destroy you as it destroyed them” (narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim). He would then complain about her conviction... and always say to her: “You will live your whole life like this, loving poverty...” My father did not stop at this; he started gathering money from here and there until he accumulated a huge fortune... and while he was stingy with his family in terms of clothing or food for economy’s sake, he would squander large sums of money on colleagues and capital owners, claiming it was for mutual interests, and this was only done in hotels or luxury restaurants, because our modest house was not suitable for such prominent figures... My father completely changed; the world, institutions, companies, and real estate became his greatest concern... boasting and arrogance became his traits... he became obsessed with superficial appearances... he forgot that this life is transient, and its pleasures are fleeting... I often reminded him of this... how I warned him about death... but he would ignore and not take heed, marrying another woman, who was, of course, close to a wealthy person... he housed her in a luxurious palace, with plush furniture, and she had servants and maids... while we sometimes couldn’t find a morsel of bread, he left and went away... he forgot or ignored that he left behind a sick wife... and children starving... he left my mother, who endured and bore him, living with contentment, satisfaction, and moderation... she suffered from pain and illnesses, and he told her: “I will leave you with the poverty you love...” My mother’s heart was broken with sorrow and grief for this man who gave him everything, and she sacrificed much for him. He did not bother to spend on his family or children; instead, we received charity and aid from people... and people whisper about this wealthy family, pointing at us: “Look at how they are!!” This situation continued until I graduated from high school... and one day, there was a knock at our door, and the surprise was... when my younger siblings shouted at my father... “Dad, dad,” I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him... it really was him... it was my father... what brought him? He was carrying gifts, toys, sweets, and clothes... I thought to myself that perhaps Allah guided him, happiness filled my heart, and I was hopeful... he sat with me and my mother, apologized for everything he had done, and admitted his mistake towards us... and that he would compensate for those past days... etc. what he said... then he looked at me and smiled, saying: “My daughter, Mashallah, you’ve grown up and become a beautiful bride. When will I rejoice in you?” My mother understood his meaning and got up from the council... he took the opportunity and said to me: “Listen, my daughter, you will bid farewell to a life of poverty, hardship, and need... there is a young man of good character and religion, from a very wealthy family... he owns real estate and companies, and he will fulfill all your wishes... you will live in goodness and bliss... I only want your approval...” I felt sadness and grief for my father’s situation... he has not changed... nothing about him has changed... he is still the same as we left him, still loving the world flowing in his veins. I told him: “Did you come to us for this matter?!!” He said: “No... I missed you, and I, my daughter, only want your best... trust me... it’s a precious opportunity that will not come again... don’t waste it on yourself.” I told him firmly: “My interest is my mother and my younger siblings... how will they live while you have abandoned them... even the allowance and support, you do not give them, how will they be?” I am worried about their loss, this is what preoccupies my mind... as for marriage, I am not thinking about it now.” He said: “Don’t worry, I promise that your mother and siblings will live with me, and I will shower them with everything they desire... but think about yourself now. The groom will come tomorrow, and the marriage officiant and witnesses will arrive, and everything will be done...” He didn’t give me a chance to speak... to refuse... to have my say... I entrusted my affairs to my Creator. I said: “Maybe this marriage will ease my mother and siblings’ hardship. Maybe Allah will relieve them...” And indeed, tomorrow came with its fears and dread... I did not see the groom because he left quickly after the marriage contract was done, claiming he was busy and had many commitments... and my father set the wedding date... I did not agree to this marriage until my father fulfilled his promise to bring my mother and siblings to live with him... and he indeed housed them in a decent house near his luxurious palace... and he started supporting them... The wedding day came... and when the groom wanted to come in to take me to the marital home... the shock made me burst into tears... or rather, I collapsed... because that young man, full of vigor, vitality, and activity, was nothing but an elderly man leaning on his cane... a man in his seventies... and you can imagine how compatible a nineteen-year-old girl is with a man of her grandfather’s age. I refused to go with him... or even take a step... I shouted: “You deceived me, my father! I will not forgive you... how could you humiliate me to this extent, selling me so easily for a handful of worldly gains... killing the vitality and activity in me for your own greed. Do you want to destroy the flower of my life... and let my youthful rose wither with such a man... do you want to bury me alive with an old man...?! Do you not fear Allah... do you not fear His punishment...” Suddenly, I felt my father beating me, cursing, and insulting me... he said: “You’ve embarrassed me... do you want to put me in a difficult position, you fool? This man is very wealthy, you will inherit his huge wealth, and you will live happily with him. You do not understand what’s best for you...” Then he said: “And between us, there are mutual interests. By doing this, you spoil everything for me...” When my father saw my strong rejection of this marriage... he threatened me harshly and firmly, saying: “If you do not go with your husband, I will throw your mother and siblings onto the street... and they will have no shelter or refuge because I have already taken over the old house, and you will be the reason for that...” At that moment, I was at my wit’s end... I knew there was no point in protesting, and no one would listen to my objections... I looked at my father with sad eyes and said: “You have lost me, my father. You have slaughtered me without a knife... How will you face Allah?!! What will be your stance on the Day of Judgment when I and you stand before the Almighty... You have wronged me, my father, and you have wronged your family with me.” My mother comforted me, saying: “My daughter, do not accept this cheap offer... do not bury yourself with this man. Do not worry about your father’s threats... we will endure the hardship, as we are used to it... and Allah is with us; He will not forsake us... and there are many good people and generous hands, and they will not neglect us.” I told her: “Mother, enough of what I have suffered, you and my brothers. As for me, I have no choice but to be patient and to turn to Allah. He will not let me down... just pray for me...” My mother wept, entrusting her matter to Allah. She held me with compassion and mercy, saying: “May Allah help you, my daughter. Be with Allah, and He will be with you. Perhaps after that, relief and a way out will come.” I lived with this man, and there was no compatibility between us in anything... if he tried to come near me, I would recoil... I would look at him with my eyes and wonder... is this the marriage I dreamed of?!! I wished for someone who understands me and whom I understand, someone who helps me do good... guides me to righteousness... but I found nothing of that... This is my fate, and praise be to Allah in all circumstances. He constantly insulted and cursed me... and I remained silent... and he would beat me with his cane, belittle me, and even suspect me, so much so that he started imprisoning me. When he wanted to leave his house, he would lock the door with keys and locks... I don’t know if he thought I would run away. And I wish it had stopped at this; he was also miserly and stingy, just like my father... ill-mannered... negligent in obeying his Lord... only seeking his own pleasures. I say: Glory be to Allah! A person of this age, and his peers, and friends, have been laid to rest by death... and yet he does not take heed... I tried to live with this bitter, gloomy life, but I could not... anyone who sees me overwhelmed with grief and sorrow would think I am a sixty-year-old woman, and would not believe I am a girl in her twenties. My whole life has become a bleak, unbearable hell... the earth has closed in on me, sleep has left my eyes, and my appetite for everything has vanished... diseases have attacked me from every side... I kept raising my supplications to the One, the Most Merciful, to lift this affliction from me and remove this hardship... I endured tragedy, pain, bitterness, and grief... I often repeated: “You have lost me, my father... this is what your hands have wrought... you possessed what you wanted from the world, but at the expense of your flesh and your children...” My father, I have lost the trust... do you not fear Allah in us? Allah will question you about us and your responsibility over your flock. So what will be your answer tomorrow, when I stand before the Lord of the worlds... You have wronged me, my father, and you have wronged your family with me. And my mother comforted me, saying: “My daughter, do not accept this cheap offer... do not bury yourself with this man. Do not worry about your father’s threats... we will endure the hardship, as we are used to it... and Allah is with us; He will not forsake us... and there are many good people and generous hands, and they will not neglect us.” I told her: “Mother, enough of what I have suffered, you and my brothers. As for me, I have no choice but to be patient and to turn to Allah. He will not let me down... just pray for me...” My mother wept, entrusting her matter to Allah. She held me with compassion and mercy, saying: “May Allah help you, my daughter. Be with Allah, and He will be with you. Perhaps after that, relief and a way out will come.” I lived with this man, and there was no compatibility between us in anything... if he tried to come near me, I would recoil... I would look at him with my eyes and wonder... is this the marriage I dreamed of?!! I wished for someone who understands me and whom I understand, someone who helps me do good... guides me to righteousness... but I found nothing of that... This is my fate, and praise be to Allah in all circumstances. He constantly insulted and cursed me... and I remained silent... and he would beat me with his cane, belittle me, and even suspect me, so much so that he started imprisoning me. When he wanted to leave his house, he would lock the door with keys and locks... I don’t know if he thought I would run away. And I wish it had stopped at this; he was also miserly and stingy, just like my father... ill-mannered... negligent in obeying his Lord... only seeking his own pleasures. I say: Glory be to Allah! A person of this age, and his peers, and friends, have been laid to rest by death... and yet he does not take heed... I tried to live with this bitter, gloomy life, but I could not... anyone who sees me overwhelmed with grief and sorrow would think I am a sixty-year-old woman, and would not believe I am a girl in her twenties. My whole life has become a bleak, unbearable hell... the earth has closed in on me, sleep has left my eyes, and my appetite for everything has vanished... diseases have attacked me from every side... I kept raising my supplications to the One, the Most Merciful, to lift this affliction from me and remove this hardship... I endured tragedy, pain, bitterness, and grief... I often repeated: “You have lost me, my father... this is what your hands have wrought... you possessed what you wanted from the world, but at the expense of your flesh and your children...” My father, I have lost the trust... do you not fear Allah in us? Allah will question you about us and your responsibility over your flock. So what will be your answer tomorrow, when I stand before the Lord of the worlds... You have wronged me, my father, and you have wronged your family with me.