I grew up and forgot to forget

Buthaina Al Essa writes: I grew up and forgot to forget, like a sad anthem about the period of awakening that witnessed the rise of strict sheikhs who forbade even life itself, through the story of Fatima, the orphan girl whose life is controlled by her older brother, Saqr. With her exquisite style and poetic language, Al Essa discusses women's rights and the pressures they face in various Arab societies. The book "I Grew Up and Forgot to Forget" was published by the Arab Scientific Publishers as part of distinguished Arab novels alongside Al Essa's other works. About the novel "I Grew Up and Forgot to Forget": They always told me: You grow up and forget. When I fell and my eyebrow was cut, when the math teacher forced me to stand facing the wall because I forgot that 7 × 6 = 42, when my bicycle broke and they didn't buy me another so I wouldn't break it, when my soul's bottle broke, when my parents died, when I didn't die, when the world was too much and I was alone, when my brother slaughtered my doll because "Barbie" is forbidden, and the "Spacetoon" channel was shut down because "Pokemon" is forbidden. When I removed my parents' picture from the frame and buried it in the broken drawer so the angels wouldn't cast them out, when the cracks in the walls filled with devils, when I was forced to enter the girls' college to preserve my chastity, when I was presented to a friend for marriage to preserve my chastity, when I tore the covers of my books to protect them from burning, when I wrote my first poem under a box of Kleenex trembling with fear, when I was pulled by my hijab during my first poetic morning... when my brother finally slapped me, they all told me: You grow up and forget. The problem is that I grew up and did not forget, I grew up and forgot to forget. Grew up and forgot to forget. Quotes: Pain has no homeland. It is a homeland in itself. I read and I will not forget, or rather I saw. True orphanhood is that I did not die, and Saqr did not die either, for he remained in the world to become my tormentor, to search my bag under the pretext of looking for gum, and examine my phone under the pretext of searching for Hardees' number. I do not want to change the laws of the world; I want the laws of the world not to take away what remains of me. I want that place where one can be oneself, where appearance matches inner reality, and where one harmonizes with their true self.