Actual

It is easy to understand what people think they are doing. Just as it is not difficult for sound instinct to discover what they truly mean. And what they usually hide with tricks, schemes, emotional blackmail, and various criminal cunning methods, is not worth studying. Years have passed since I lost interest in "the science of everyday life" and what it evokes in ideas about the story behind the story. Because the slip of the tongue that brings you back to the void does not need further proof. I bet Freud was one of the most genius men in human history, but I gained no benefit from applying his system more than the benefit of using William Peale's argument "the clockmaker" by borrowing from the universe, the clock is set at first, then it ticks for billions of years. As long as there is one thing we assume, someone will be sure of its correctness (in the case of "the clockmaker," it was an English clergyman in the eighteenth century). Being known has never been of particular importance to me. And I do not feel I am difficult to discover for a good observer. When asked, I reply that I live in Chicago and that I am semi-retired, but I do not pay attention to defining my profession. Not because I have something to hide. But because I have something that suggests mystery. My appearance is Chinese. After the Korean War, I was sent to study Chinese at a private school. Perhaps my hidden talents, which I concealed with a secret cloak, are what gave my face East Asian expressions. Children at school never called me "the Chinese" — and maybe they didn’t do so because I was of a mysterious classification, an outsider, an orphan. But that was also misleading. Both of my parents were alive. I was placed in an orphanage because my mother suffered from a joint disease that caused her to move from clinic to clinic abroad. And my father was a simple carpenter. My mother’s family paid the bills, as her siblings were successful sausage makers capable of affording her treatment in Badenheim in Germany, or in Hot Springs, Arkansas.