The third lie (the sentences)

And I tell her that I am trying to tell my story, but I cannot, and I do not have the courage, because it hurts me, so I summarize everything and describe things not as they actually happened, but as I wish they had happened. She says: Yes, a person's life can be more depressing than the most depressing books. I say: Exactly, no matter how gloomy a book is, it cannot be as depressing as life.