I am Shahira, the first story

As I mourned him, I cry him.. We are not judges nor rulers.. We are all sinners.. Only the Forgiving, the Merciful remains !!"What is my greatest sin of my life?! What is my biggest guilt?! That I loved him to madness, and was loyal to him even to stupidity?! But he is a man who deserves love and loyalty.. And here I am today reliving those moments as if I am living them again..". How and when did the beginning originate?! How does love change everything and we are born with it as if we were never born on our first birth?! And how in a moment and with the same tenderness nothing of us remains and nothing is left!!