The Sultan's Vizier

I prepared myself for prayer from the deadly boredom and exhausting thinking, so I prayed two rak'ahs and I sought guidance from Allah who does not disappoint those who seek His guidance, and I begged Him to choose for me and not to leave me to choose myself, for I am confused and I do not know how to choose, as I have been tested and temptation is more severe than killing; I was tempted by the granddaughter of the blind Sheikh with her captivating beauty, and I was seduced by her grandfather with his abundant wealth, and I am a weak servant in need of Allah. My conscience rebuked me and reminded me that I am also in need of knowledge, and I did not take risks or make the difficult journey from Taroudant to Fez to sell myself for a little or a lot of worldly gain, but I did so to follow the way of scholars, to walk the path of the great, to fulfill my grandfather’s prophecy, and to become a vizier to the Sultan. But what harm is there if I marry and become wealthy and seek knowledge afterward, while I am confident that I have kept myself from immoral acts and poverty? Is the pursuit of knowledge not compatible with perseverance and need? Did not the noble Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, tell us that the strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer? Did not Allah, the Almighty, say in His glorious Book: Wealth and children are the adornment of this worldly life… Did our Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, marry Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, may Allah be pleased with her, who was the wealthiest woman in Quraysh? So why am I content with poverty and wealth knocking at my door?