God's she-camel

The poor girl! He wanted to help her with her ordeal, so he committed sins against her. He responded to the ghost of the desert in regard to the headband, breaking the solemn vow with her with the blood of the soul, not the blood of the body, to add a new affliction to her existing one. Why does he not now admit that what he did for her was not done for her, but for himself? Why does he not acknowledge that he was practicing a shameful deception in everything he did to keep her, not out of fear of the devils’ guns or knives, but because he cannot part from her? Because the lost homeland only became a recovered homeland with her presence, for she is the embodiment of the homeland’s spirit, as much as she is the embodiment of the calamity that befell the homeland. Does this not mean that he does not love God’s camel as he should, but rather loves himself in God’s camel?