Preparation program for the older child to welcome the new baby

"A program to prepare a child to become an older brother or sister"

The arrival of a new baby in the family is a joyous event, but it can pose a psychological and emotional challenge for the older child.

The program at Kid Square Center aims to prepare the child psychologically and behaviorally to receive his new brother or sister with love and security, and to help him understand the changes that will occur within the family and express his feelings in a healthy way.

Psychological goals of the program

The program helps the child to:

• Developing his self-confidence and sense of security.
• To confirm his status and importance within the family.
• Expressing his feelings in a clear and safe way.
• Learn how to control your emotions and deal with jealousy.
• Reducing fear and anxiety about the idea:
• "Mom will forget about me after the baby arrives."
• Developing positive feelings towards the newborn.
• Promoting independence and taking on responsibilities appropriate to his age.

Program stages

First stage: Prenatal

"pregnancy"

the goal:

Preparing the child psychologically and building positive and realistic expectations about the arrival of the newborn.

Activities:

• Read appropriate stories about an older brother or sister.
• Explaining the stages of pregnancy and the arrival of the newborn in a simplified way that suits the child's age.
• Talk to the child about the expected changes within the home.
• Involve the child in some simple preparations for the newborn.
• Encouraging him to express his questions, concerns, and feelings.

Family counseling:

• Guiding parents on how to present the news of the birth to the child.
• Avoid associating difficult changes with the arrival of the baby.
• Allocate a fixed amount of time for the older child.
• She reassured him that the family's love for him would not diminish or change.

Stage Two: Time of Birth

"Birth week"

the goal:

Reduce feelings of shock or confusion, and explain what is happening to the child in a simple and safe way.

Family counseling:

• Inform the child in advance of the mother's whereabouts and the expected duration of her absence.
• Clarify who will stay with him during the birth.
• Maintaining his usual daily routine as much as possible.
• Preparing the child for the first meeting with the newborn.
• Give the older child a warm welcome before focusing on the newborn.
• Avoid forcing the child to hold the newborn, kiss him, or show happiness immediately.

Stage three: After birth

"During the first two months"

the goal:

Helping the child to adapt to the new situation, accept the newborn, and reduce feelings of jealousy and rejection.

Activities:

• Allocate a daily time called "Little Helper Time".
• Involve the child in simple and safe tasks, such as:
• Bring the baby's clothes.
• Choose a suitable cover or toy.
• Singing to the newborn.
• Helping to organize his belongings.
• Reading stories that deal with feelings of jealousy and love between siblings.
• Implementing expressive activities through drawing, playing, and acting.
• Allocate individual time for the child with the mother and father, away from the newborn.

Homework:

Prepare a table titled:

"Big Brother's Achievements"

A star or sticker is given to a child when they exhibit positive behavior, such as:

• Family assistance.
• Expressing his feelings verbally.
• Treat the newborn gently.
• Wait quietly.
• Performing a task independently.

Symptoms that may appear in the child

The child may experience some symptoms during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period, including:

• Frequent crying or fits of anger without a clear reason.
• Excessive attachment to the mother and refusal to leave her.
• Extreme jealousy of the newborn.
• Attempting to push, hit, or handle the newborn violently.
• Directing anger or aggression towards the mother or father.
• Reverting to behaviors younger than his age, such as:
• Request for breastfeeding.
• Using a pacifier.
• Involuntary urination.
• He asked for help with things he used to do on his own.
• Trying to attract attention through disruptive behavior.
• Repeatedly violating instructions.
• Sadness, withdrawal, and lack of participation in play.
• Refusal of food or change in appetite.
• Mood swings.
• Sleep disorders.
• Repeating phrases like:
• "You love him more than I do."
• "I don't like my brother."
• "Take him back to the hospital."
• "Why does he always stay with Mama?"

The emergence of some of these behaviors may be a temporary response to change, and requires a calm and balanced approach without reprimanding the child or describing him as jealous.

How does a child think?

A child's thinking may proceed in the following sequence:

The situation:

The child sees that the mother spends a lot of time with the newborn.

The child's interpretation of the situation:

"Mom loves the baby more than me."

The belief that he develops:

"I'm no longer important, and Mama might forget me."

Resulting /strong>

Jealousy, or hitting, or crying, or stubbornness, or excessive attachment.

The family and the program's task is to modify this interpretation, and help the child form a safer idea, such as:

"My mom loves me, and the arrival of the baby does not diminish her love for me; rather, our family has become bigger and our love has increased."

Program success indicators

The indicators are monitored on a weekly basis, and the most important ones are:

• Reduced episodes of anger and crying.
• Reducing excessive attachment to the mother.
• A child's ability to express jealousy or sadness verbally.
• Accept the newborn gradually.
• Reduced attempts to hit or harm the newborn.
• Increase the child's sense of security.
• Involve the child in some simple tasks.
• His independence and ability to wait improved.
• The child gradually returns to his routine and behaviors appropriate for his age.
• The child uses positive phrases, such as:

"I am the clever older brother"

or

"I am the clever older sister."

Program Implementation Mechanism

Daily activities

Short, structured activities of approximately 10 minutes daily, chosen according to the child's age and psychological needs.

Family guidance

Providing a weekly guide sheet for mothers and fathers that includes:

• Ways to deal with jealousy.
• Phrases suitable for reassuring the child.
• Behaviors to avoid.
• Shared household activities.
• Ways to promote positive behavior.

Follow-up and observation

• Regular monitoring of the child's development.
• Recording behavioral and emotional observations.
• Assessing the child's acceptance of changes.
• Adjusting activities and instructions based on his response.
• Conduct a simplified assessment each month to develop the psychological and behavioral aspects.

Program duration

The program lasts for three months, and is extendable depending on the child's condition, his response, and the family's needs.